Learn to Say No
Learn to Say No: Do you find it hard to say no to people? If so, you are not alone. Some of us hate to disappoint, upset or lose favour with others. If saying no doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry, you can learn.
Why is saying no difficult?
– We fear letting others’ down.
– We worry they might get angry with us.
– We put their needs ahead of ours.
– Because we want to be seen as obliging and helpful.
All of the above are some of the reasons some people just can’t say no. But never saying no can leave you feeling exhausted and shows a lack of self-care. It can be even harder to break the cycle as others’ learn that we will always say yes, and expect this from us. When we decide to change, we also need to re-educate those people about our new stance.
Why it’s good to say no to things that don’t support us:
– It is a sign of strength and self-worth.
– It is helpful to others who have a tendency to take all the time, to know that you are no longer supporting that. Supporting ‘taking’ behaviours enables it.
– It preserves our energy and supports balance and wellbeing.
– It means we have more time to do important things.
– If you are not sure how to answer a person when you want to say no, it’s okay to say: ‘I’m not sure, I’ll check this out and let you know soon.’ This gives you time to prepare your response.
– If someone was to go on and pressurise for an immediate answer, I would refuse, simply because asking for more time is a reasonable request and they have been disrespectful by not allowing that. Unless it’s a life or death situation of urgency, of course.
– Keep it short and simple: ‘Sorry but I’m not available.’ Don’t give endless reasons why – unless you think it’s any of their business. If you keep justifying why you are saying no, you show that you are totally uncomfortable with it and are open to persuasion.
– Be polite. Look them in the eye. Just because you are saying no, doesn’t imply that you are mean, don’t like the person, or don’t respect them.
In Energy EFT, we can check in with how we feel about saying no to people. Rate yourself on the SUE scale below. If it’s hard to say no, it’s in the minuses, with -10 being the worst. At zero, you feel indifferent about it. In the pluses, you feel pretty good about your ability to say no when it’s appropriate.
As we raise energy flow through the energy body it also helps us to feel more empowered. Being a doormat or people pleaser is indicative of living in the minuses, with energy blocks. Give yourseslf the gift today of saying no when something is asked of you that doesn’t feel right.
About the author: Susan Browne helps people to feel great in their energy and achieve their goals through ENERGY EFT. She is a GUILD OF ENERGISTS ENERGY EFT TRAINER, teaching in Co. Kerry & Galway, Ireland and she provides 1:1 COUNSELLING, and internationally ENERGY EFT SESSIONS, and SUCCESS MENTORING via Skype. Susan is an Accredited Counsellor with the APCP. GET IN TOUCH for more info.
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