Family Loyalty to the Problem



Sometimes a thing that blocks us from moving forward in our lives is that people in the family have the same problem that we are struggling with. Unconsciously we feel that we might let them down or show them up by surpassing the challenge. Amazingly this can even happen when that person is not alive any more. What loyal creatures we are! If you think you might be blocked by this you are not alone. We are social animals and the first few years of life our family is everything, and everything they do is right in our minds. Of course as we grow older we can see more objectively, and as adults we can look at certain things in our family or upbringing and decide we’d rather not repeat that pattern. But how easy is it? It depends on our level of consciousness and this varies from issue to issue. If you consider the energy of behaviour patterns and that they cross over not just one generation but multiple, maybe passing down over centuries.

So because we have EFT we can sort this, right? Well, if you have the intention to clear something that is a very powerful start. And the awareness that it might be a ‘family thing’ that holds you back is a great insight. Insight gives you your power back and increases your choices. How real is it that the people in your family will disown you if you overcome the problem? And if that was the case what does that even mean?


Of course for deeply ingrained issues that are causing you a lot of pain I don’t recommend the DIY approach; talk to a counsellor or experienced EFT Practitioner to get started and get some support. They will also be able to see blind spots that you are unaware of. When you are ready then you can keep up the good work by yourself, to make sure you don’t fall back into old patterns. In EFT we look at the certain situations that may trigger the feeling of not wanting to let the family down by overcoming the problem and prepare you for those situations so you feel more empowered. Actually by overcoming  the problem you could become a role model to others in the family, and stop that energy from seeping down into the next generation – rather like a family hero. We also look at the energy you would like to feel instead of the ‘I’m letting them down,’ ‘they’ll reject me,’ type feelings. What is the opposite of that? For some its ‘confidence,’ and ‘it’s okay to be me.’ The Positive EFT approach means we don’t have to claw around at old painful experiences, endlessly trying to unravel where it came from. We can look at how we want to feel instead and keep that as a focus. Tune in and think of a quality you would like to feel when either announcing or demonstrating to your family that you have overcome this problem. Use the word or words as a tapping exercise.

I see people for counselling and EFT in North Kerry, Ireland and EFT via Skype internationally. For an appointment or more information please get in touch.

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