8 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem
Our self-esteem is linked to our mood, and on days or spells where we don’t feel so good our self-esteem often suffers too. It’s amazing, the power of the mind. So how do we get this mind of ours to work with us rather than against us when we aren’t feeling confident? There are many techniques you can learn to add to your toolbox, as it were. You must find what works best for you and then remember to use it/them when you need to. Here are some suggestions:
1. Note how far you have come – List all the things you have achieved in your life that you are proud of. If you are feeling low and being hard on yourself you may have to work hard at this, but it will pay off – persevere.
2. Put things in Perspective – Think of something that you give yourself a hard time about that is linked to your low self-esteem. Every feeling is preceded by a thought, or lots of them. What sort of thoughts come before you experiencing low self-esteem? Now imagine a friend or someone you care about was saying that about themselves. What would you say to them about it?
3. Answer negative thoughts back – the poisonous parrot or low self-esteem gremlin always speaks negatively, but who says you have to lie down and take it? Answer the thought back. Ask yourself, just how accurate is that? Many of our thoughts are repetitive, but we can learn to challenge old unhelpful ones, creating new pathways for better well-being.
4. Better Boundaries – are you a people pleaser? Do you allow people to walk over you? If you do, learn to say no when it’s the best thing for you. Taking on too much, doing too much for others and not being assertive can all contribute to low self-esteem as we feel like we have let ourselves down.
5. Look after your body – not exercising, over-eating and over-drinking are some of the many ways people misuse their body and are linked to self-worth. If you need to seek help for any of these, make it a priority. Don’t let bad habits rob you of your confidence.
6. EFT (emotional freedom techniques – ‘tapping’) – For me, the most powerful thing I have come across in my travels as a counsellor and mental health nurse is EFT. So for this blog I have included a video to demonstrate how to use EFT to increase confidence, as this links to our self-esteem.
7. Me-time – self nurturing gives you the message that you matter. Whether it’s a walk in the park, reading a good book or a spa day doesn’t matter too much, it’s the gesture that you are doing something for you and your well-being.
8. Speak about yourself in a good light – are you always putting yourself down in front of others? ‘I’m no good at this,’ etc? You don’t have to go around blowing your own trumpet all the time but change the way you speak about yourself to a more supportive way, instead you could say ‘I’m working on getting better at….’ Notice the difference?
You can print off your own SUE scale here